


How to take your droid out for a stroll in the park

by Harif



Series: Droids! [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Humor, Manual, Other, Spaceships, assault gun, droid, stroll in the park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harif/pseuds/Harif
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you want to take your droid with you on a sunny day, just for a friendly stroll in the park, make sure to have read the following manual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to take your droid out for a stroll in the park

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Caring for Your Pet Joiner](https://archiveofourown.org/works/667927) by [ACelestialDream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACelestialDream/pseuds/ACelestialDream). 



> As noted: inspired by the fic "Caring for your Pet Joiner".  
> Hope you don't mind me 'borrowing/stealing' the concept? :)  
> If you do mind, I promise to delete it.

Thank you for finding us after browsing for 'droid-manuals' on the Holonet.

**Your search history shows us that you want to know if your droid is safe taking with you for a stroll in the park on a day off work. To be able to accurately find the information you need, you need to answer a few important questions:**

**_A. Was it included in the inventory of your spaceship?_ **

If not, go to B, or C, or D, or E.

If yes, your droid is a Protocol Droid, to be more precise: a Seneschal-series factotum droid, most possibly your droid does not want to leave your spaceship, it's very attached to its surroundings. Leaving the spaceship will make it anxious. Instead of asking him to go out for a walk, you may prefer asking him to cook you a substantial meal, or let him shower you with useless but ego flattering empty words of praise everytime you pass him, relentless, tiresome. A word of advice: It may seem flattering at first, a factotum droid, but for the sake of sanity it might be wise to press him to accompany you on a walk, and we suggest you take a rope with you and tie him to a tree, then run back to your ship.

**_B. Did it run around with a Jedi?_ **

If you are a Jedi, you have a cute little Astromech Droid, useful on almost all occasions although his verbal skills sometimes leave room for interpretation. He will gladly accompany you outdoors, and will even shoot its wee little blaster in case you need to be defended. Quite safe around children, often spotted to play hide-and-seek with them.

If you are not a Jedi, don't bother to try and get one, just move to  C.

**_C. Did it run around with a Trooper?_ **

If you are a Trooper, you have M1-4X, a War Droid. As the name says, a Forex war droid is especially created for war situations that require heavy combat and following orders. Do not, we repeat do not bring a war droid to the park. If we have to explain why, it's probably unwise for you to own any droid at all. We inform you hereby that we will take preventive actions to remove the droid from your custody if we notice you doing otherwise.

If you are not a Jedi or a Trooper, or the owner of a spaceship, go to D.

**_D. Did you catch it in the wild?_ **

We will have to warn you, any wild droid will be aggressive. To anyone in a park, and that includes you. So unless you brought a war droid with you to defend you, do not catch wild droids, ever. Period.

**_E. Does its name start with HK?_ **

You are in the possession of the most sophisticated, opinionated, stubborn, cocky, pigheaded, dangerous and lovable droid of them all. Your Hunter Killer droid is the best companion of all droids available, HK-55 the newest model also being the most expensive. Not only does his shiny golden exterior need an awful lot of polishing and therefore a large amount of expensive polisher, to be able to fully enjoy your HK's company, you need to take him to a shooting range, and train him regularly to finetune his performance.

After training him, you could try to take him with you to the park. Be wary however and don't let him near children and other visitors. Your HK-55 enjoys hunting little animals with his enormous assault gun. There is no problem letting him, especially not if you plan to have a grand barbecue later that day, for family and friends. There won't be any ducks left in the park though.

On a sidenote: your HK-55 enjoys killing bugs and insects in your spaceship, Forbid him to use either his assault gun or hydrochloric acid, both his favourite weapons of choice. Hand him an old piece of paper instead. He is likely to complain, but you are still the boss, although sometimes you may start to wonder...

We, the suppliers of droid-manuals wish you good luck with your purchase, we will however not be available for any questions or complaints pertaining to said droids.


End file.
